When news of Covid-19 first started circulating, no one believed it would still be impacting our lives today. But as we draw nearer to the 2-year mark of when schools were first officially shut down and terms like “masking” and “social distancing” first entered our lexicon, it’s clear our new reality has been anything but fleeting.
With Covid-19 claiming over 750,000 lives in the United States thus far, there is no denying the public health impact this disease has had. But the loss of that many lives, combined with the economic stressors of Covid-19 and the isolation remaining safe has required, means a mental health epidemic has also quickly spread throughout the country.
And then there are the kids, many of whom have been deprived of regular social interactions and the opportunity to grow the skills typically acquired in the younger years.
Fears vs. Reality
When schools first began closing, many experts agreed doing so was necessary for public health and safety. But concerns about the impact on children’s social skills were still raised.
Now, enough time has passed that we’ve been able to see whether or not those concerns were warranted.
“I am seeing the impacts of the past 18 months of challenging schooling situations,” Kelly Smith, RN, an integrative behavioral health nurse and founder of Movement Matters said recently. “Many of the educators and parents I work with are looking for support with social skills for children.”
Still, she said it’s hard to know whether that is because of school closures, disruptions to schedules, or just the collective trauma we’ve all been experiencing.
“The routines of families were disrupted, there was added stress in many homes, teachers and students were impacted by limited resources and long days in front of screens, not to mention the abundance of fear,” she explained. “All these things can and have likely contributed to the regulation and communication challenges that many children appear to be struggling with at this time.”
One way that has played out is in how children have adjusted to being back in the classroom now that schools have opened again. Child and adolescent psychologist Sophie Pierce said that while some kids have been eager to return, others have struggled with a significant amount of anxiety when it comes to going back to regular school settings.
“Some kids experienced increased separation anxiety as they had grown accustomed to being around their family more frequently,” she explained. “Other children felt overstimulated and socially anxious upon re-entering their school setting.”
It’s primarily the teachers who are having to help kids work through those anxieties and find their footing again. Thankfully, K-5 music specialist Zach VanderGraaff, owner of Dynamic Music Room, said the impacts haven’t been as severe as initially feared. At least, not for the majority of students.
“We see the most impact in the skills of students who experience trauma at home and the Kindergarten/First Grade students,” he explained.
For kids with trauma experiences, he said the biggest problem is that they’ve been cut off from resources they previously relied on for helping to cope and seeking protection over the last year and a half.
“Trauma rewires their brains and constantly puts them in fight-or-flight modes,” he said. “While these students are thrilled to be back and talk with friends, it takes very little to send them spiraling and displaying disruptive behaviors.”
And with younger students, those primarily in kindergarten and first grade, he said, “The amount of formative social experiences that normally occur in pre-school or Kindergarten weren't there, so we're seeing a lot of the same unaware and self-centered behaviors we see with brand-new students.”
While this is always present to some degree, especially in kindergarten, he said it is apparent on a much larger scale now, with teachers seeing a lot more of:
- Students wanting all of the teacher’s attention and wanting it now
- Students picking on their peers to get adult attention
- Tantrums when students don't get what they want
- Students taking toys or other objects from other students
In other words: many of these younger kids have missed out on the social experiences that previously might have better prepared them for the school setting.
Kids Are Resilient
One of the other concerns some parents have had is how things like masking and social distancing, even in school settings, might be impacting kids. But the experts say the kids are doing just fine when it comes to masking, at least.
“For the most part, children are resilient and have adapted to their ‘new normal’ of wearing masks daily,” Pierce said.
VanderGraaff agreed, even explaining how masks may be helping kids improve their social skills, rather than being a detriment to them.
“With masks, I don't see students treating each other any differently, and I'm even seeing students get more expressive with their eyes and body language to show how they feel through non-verbal communication,” he said. “One thing students are doing is talking out more because the non-verbal expressions aren't as effective as before.”
Unfortunately, he said he’s noticed the opposite when it comes to social distancing and cohorting (separating kids into groups and keeping them with those groups at all times.
“When you have the same kids in the same small group all the time, students don't see the different personalities they would normally experience when they get to circulate and work with many different types of people in their classroom,” he explained. “I notice the students feel more at a loss of how to handle a wider variety of personalities and are forming stronger cliques with the others in their group.”
For a lot of kids, he said the lack of practice they’ve had in interacting with these different personalities and problem solving together means that minor disagreements tend to escalate a lot quicker now. Most kids, he explained, know the right responses for any given situation, but haven’t had the opportunity to practice those responses in a while now.
How Parents Can Help
If you’re a parent, it’s possible you’ve noticed some of these impacts yourself. And you may be worried about how you can help your child(ren) practice or develop the skills they haven’t had as much opportunity to use over the last year and a half.
Pierce said the best thing you can do is continue to help your kids foster and grow those skills at home.
“<Parents> can model social skills in their daily interactions with their child, perhaps by engaging in regular quality time with their child and discussing their days,” she suggested. “Parents can also encourage the development of social skills by praising their children when they exhibit positive social skills, such as initiating conversations or showing interest in others.”
Smith agreed, saying that she encourages parents engage in a lot of interaction and play with their kids to help them develop their social skills.
“When you read together, ask questions about what characters might be thinking or feeling,” she explained. “Discuss your predictions about what may happen, or what your child might do in a similar situation. Play games together that encourage critical thinking, planning, or cooperation. Put a new spin on old favorites such as playing connect 4, but in order to “win” you must win two games and lose two games. This can help children develop some adaptive capacity skills and learn that failure isn’t always a bad thing.”
She further suggested finding ways to engage in mindfulness and relaxation together as a family. This can be especially important, she said, because a lot of kids are probably dealing with anxiety right now and could use some help dealing with that.
“Being aware that anxiety can often show up as anger, avoidance, or even physical symptoms (such as a stomachache or need to use the bathroom) is the first step to supporting your child,” Smith explained. “Identifying the emotions they feel, then relating that emotion to a physical sensation can help your child be more comfortable with emotions and improve regulation.”
It’s important to remember we have all been through a lot over the last year. But children really are resilient, and Pierce said that with patience, modeling, and support, most will get back to where they would have been just fine.
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Impact Of Covid-19 On Children’s Social Skills - Forbes
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